Post Rapture Report
It looks like the purported impending Rapture was a bust, at least locally.
We’ve made some phone calls to relatives outside of town — at least the good ones that might have made the final cut — but we haven’t heard back from any of them yet. Either they’re away for the weekend or are they are now singing in the choir forever hereafter.
The fact that Mildred Pottle is still amongst us leads most of us to think that the Rapture didn’t occur. Mrs. Pottle would be a strong candidate for being the first in line at the Holy Gates. She’s such a good and genuinely nice person that they’d let her cut ahead of the Pope and other higher-up type Christians, but she would be perfectly happy waiting her turn and letting them go on before her.
We’ve got eyes on Mrs. Pottle and will let you know if anything changes. Of course, if you don’t hear from anyone for awhile, then that might just mean that God has decided to significantly lower His standards and let all of us on across the goal line to Kingdom Come!
Peace!
